Blow
by WingsofSmoke
Summary: Duo's manager doesn't give him the vacation he requested months ago. Duo consults Wufei on it. Wufei comes up with a plan... which just proves he's been dating Duo far too long. Oh, well. Established 5x2, Wufei/Duo. Random, OOC, no real resolution.


**A/N:** This was written in about twenty minutes, unedited, not even checked for OOCness. One of my best friends (a.k.a. my Duo) has terrible managers that don't pay attention, nor do they help the workers with time off that they requested months ago, and obviously don't know how to compensate for that alerted vacation. In layman's terms... her manager's a dick who won't give her the vacation time she told him months ahead of time, the same vacation when I was gonna see her. So the Wufei in me ain't happy. Thus... this fic. Do enjoy and forgive OOCness and all that. Plus the different style. This is a little bit different from what I normally write. Instead of thinking it out, it's more of a "I was up too late and writing matter-of-factly" style of mine~

Also, it's completely random. And probably has no real resolution. I'll just write an accompanying chapter later to tie up the loose ends XD

Blow

One-Shot

There were some things about Wufei that only Duo knew about. And there were some things about Duo that only Wufei knew about. It sort of clicked for them both. There was a general empathic understanding of one another, though both of them expressed it in different ways.

Although... when it came down to it, they expressed the same infuriating anger towards one thing: the douchebaggery of general businesses.

Wufei, of course, would silently fume, though his behavior towards certain individuals was colder than normal, and there was an increase in decibels when he slammed the door on his way out. He'd meditate, end up thinking about it, and then there would be a large hole in the wall that would have to be replaced. Duo, on his end, would pitch a fit with himself and end up lining up scrap metal in a line, then blasting it all in succession with a gun. Then there was bound to be some swearing before he ate a burger and went quiet for a while.

Either way, both would be pissed as hell. And something always got destroyed.

And neither of them had anger problems, thanks very damn much. Just so that was covered.

So there's always one employer that pisses people off. And _royally_ pisses them off.

Considering that Duo Maxwell and Wufei Chang were both Gundam pilots, it was very very wrong to piss them off.

Duo Maxwell, for one, is an awesome bank teller at IBC. Despite popular belief, he's very well-organized in this area. Also, he's not swiping money or doing anything dishonest, he's being a good boy. He knows better. Besides, Wufei would beat the living shit out of him if he did anything wrong at a _bank_ of all places.

Speaking of Wufei, Duo remembered his anniversary with the pilot was coming up. Yeah, they'd been dating a while. One year and six months' anniversary for them was in about two weeks. Wufei had planned it out this time around: they were spending four days together (over a weekend, of course). They were staying by an onsen over those four days, where they would relax in the hot springs and, if needed, full body massages. And there was going to be some light shopping if Duo wished, and... well, Duo wondered if Wufei was going to be up to that anime convention coming up, too. All that running around.

… Then again, last time Duo had spazzed over an event, he'd fallen flat on his face. He'd gotten Wufei to laugh that day. It was burned right into the core of his memory bank where he could always remember it, the right way Wufei's lips turned up and the deep chuckle that had come out past those soft boyish lips.

Their vacation sounded girly, but hey, they were two hard-working, stressed out adults. Yes, they were legal now. Duo had his 23nd birthday coming up. Wufei had already turned 22. So what if Wufei was younger, sue him.

But that's getting off-track.

So Duo had told his manager far ahead of time that he needed the second weekend of June off. He had his anniversary and all that, and he hadn't really gotten a vacation since he'd started working at this bank over a year ago. His manager marked it down, then waved him off, and the braided adult skipped back to his desk and went back to paperwork with a bit of a foreign vigor.

Now, two weeks before, Duo stared at his printed schedule in shock, as it showed he was working a complete full-time for the entire weekend he had requested off. Suddenly flooded with anger, he crumpled his schedule and threw it across his desk and went straight to his manager's office. He walked in and demanded to know the reason why his vacation was suddenly filled up with work hours. Of course, he started out calm. But he was firm, and smart about it. Perhaps there had been a mistake?

Not likely.

His manager dismissed him by replying, "We're short-staffed, and your vacation of a cartoon convention isn't as important as some of the familial vacations that were scheduled months beforehand."

Duo found the anger rising, but remembered Wufei's advice at controlling that, so he sucked in a quick breath, held it for a second, then let it out. That helped. Duo tried reasoning that it was his anniversary with his boyfriend. The manager gave him a weird look, but didn't move to compromise. Duo was working, that was that, and he wasn't going to buckle for the pilot's vacation time.

… Well then.

Duo walked out, slamming the door behind him. He grabbed his things from his desk and marched right out of the building. His shift was over in ten minutes away, it was fine. Within the next ten seconds, his screeching tires were heard and he was driving furiously out of the bank parking lot.

He drove back to his apartment, where he collapsed on the sofa and growled to himself. This wasn't fair. He'd given plenty of warning, and there were plenty of people working at the bank that the manager could find someone else. The weekend coming up was important to Duo!

Duo was so mad that he was almost crying. He put an arm over his eyes, covering them.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Despite not wanting to, Duo did so.

"Wu," he murmured, his voice cracking.

There was silence on the other end, then a quiet, but firm, "What has you smoked?" Wufei was still acquiring a more Westernized style of speaking, so he really meant to say 'what has you angry', but Duo knew already what he meant. No need to correct Wufei. Even though what he had said almost made Duo crack a smile.

"They told me I can't take vacation, 'Fei," Duo mumbled, stifling a hiccup. "Ya know... _that_ weekend."

Silence again. Then— "They _what_? Why?"

Duo took a moment. "Said they were short-staffed... Wu, I'm so _pissed_—!"

"Businesses should be accommodating, especially when you give them notice of your absence months in advance," Wufei replied, his voice coming in on a slight crackle because the reception in Duo's apartment was sometimes wonky.

"I'm quitting on Tuesday," Duo said suddenly. "I'm not taking this bullshit anymore."

"Before you quit, put in applications in other places that are hiring," Wufei advised immediately, having no objection to Duo quitting the bank. The place was filled with stuck-up snobs anyway, and Wufei had a major dislike for those types of attitudes. "That way, after the weekend, you won't be jobless." At least, that was in the intent.

Duo sat up. "Yeah, I know, I'm just... I'm frustrated."

"I know you are," Wufei replied. "Honestly, anyone would be." He paused. "What can I do to help?"

Duo blinked. "Well... don't suppose you can use your Gundam to blow up my manager's office?"

"You're kidding." The deadpan response was basically a 'no' in Duo's mind.

"Pretty please, Wu? I'm sick and tired of that place," Duo pleaded. "I didn't say blow up the people, just blow up the damn building."

"It'll cost more than we're both paid for the next thousand years to replace it." Wufei wasn't spending all his savings on a building. No way.

Duo sighed. He realized his nose was dripping, so he sniffed.

"...You've been crying, haven't you?" Wufei's voice was quieter, not as firm.

Duo didn't reply.

Wufei's static sigh came through from the other line. "Don't cry over another person's stupidity. You know I don't like seeing you like that."

"Yeah... I know. Sorry." Duo wiped at his eyes with his sleeve.

"You don't have to apologize." Wufei's tongue was clicking in thought on the other line.

See, that was one weird thing about the two. One would expect Wufei to hum, and Duo to click his tongue whenever either of them needed to do some on-the-spot thinking. In actuality, it was the other way around. That wasn't to say Wufei clucked his tongue often; but he only did it when he and Duo were talking together on something serious.

It was weird nonetheless.

"Stay there, I'm coming over in five minutes." And before Duo could argue, Wufei hung up.

True to his word, he was at Duo's apartment in just under the five-minute marker. Wufei helped Duo reach a compromise with getting back at his work. Instead of blowing up the building to shit or ruthlessly vandalizing it, there was a much better solution that presented itself.

Who said Wufei wasn't crafty in his own way? Perhaps he'd been hanging around Duo too much.

* * *

><p>After the bank closed, and the manager left, Duo and Wufei were given a seven hour window to put their plan into motion. Sneaking into the bank, Duo cut the security cameras and shut off the alarms. Wufei carried the bag of supplies inside and picked the lock for the manager's office.<p>

Once inside, Duo crawled under the desk and re-wired the entire computer system, changing circuits and then tying the excess wires into pretty bows. While he was doing that, Wufei pulled out the posters they'd purchased from a kid's party store. Hannah Montana and Justin Bieber soon lined the walls of the 43-year-old manager's office, and then opposite of it were different year magazine covers from _Playboy_. Duo then took some shaving cream and lined it neatly all over the computer screen, in-between the keys of the keyboard, and then coated the entire chair.

"Ya know, covering such nice technology in this stuff is almost depressing," Duo commented lightly, quietly.

Wufei gave him a weird look as he began taking out post-it notes. "Dell computers are worthless piles of scrap metal. I'm appalled that such an intelligent and technologically literate person such as yourself would even think of defending a company lik—mffph!"

Duo grinned as he pulled back from the kiss, winking. "I get it, you nagger. C'mon, we still gotta put up the caution tape."

Wufei, face slightly red in the fluorescent light of the office, just huffed and dug back into the bag, looking for said item. He found it at the very bottom – surprise, surprise – and proceeded to toss it at Duo's head. The braided pilot caught it with a cheeky grin. "Tryin' ta give me a concussion there, Wu?"

"It might've crossed my mind," Wufei replied nonchalantly.

Duo pouted. "Awww, dun be that way! 'Sides, this was all your idea. You little devil!" He practically glomped Wufei and noogied the Chinese male. The tight ponytail loosened and some strands fell over Wufei's eyes.

"Duo, off. We have work to do."

Duo pouted again, but consented. "Killjoy." He went about duct-taping the caution tape over the main sections of the room. Then he laid down on the ground. Wufei got out a permanent black marker and knelt down over Duo, drawing a body outline. Duo made faces as Wufei drew, which entertained the Chinese pilot to some degree, as Duo pretended to peeved, then dead, then super-dead, then ultra-dead... and then back to pouting.

Wufei was careful to make the outline much bigger than Duo himself, too. Once he was done with it, and he'd capped the marker, he leaned back to put it on the desk—

Only to have Duo grab his tank and pull him down for another kiss, this time with a little more intimacy and passion, if the tongue teasing his own was anything to go by. Wufei tensed, mainly in surprise, but then allowed his eyes to slip shut and proceeded to respond to the kiss.

It only lasted a minute, though, because Wufei pulled back. His mind was set into work, not making out with his boyfriend. He normally wouldn't mind, but here was not the place to do it. When Duo pouted for the third time that night, Wufei leaned back down, but their faces remained inches apart. An amused smirk. "Idiot. Later."

Duo nodded with a small chuckle before leaning up. Wufei helped him up out of the outline and then went back to sticking post-it notes over everything that wasn't already covered. Once done, he took the remaining notes and wrote a few Chinese kanji on them, sticking them over the door. Duo knew not to question them; for all he knew, they could be old Chinese curses.

Duo knew Wufei was silently just as pissed as he was at his manager. Their one weekend ruined by an inconsiderate jackass. They'd been planning for _months_. No way in hell was anyone getting in the way of it.

Thus revenge.

They left the room after "tidying it up" a little more, then dumped the empty bag and other trash into the bin outside. The trash collectors came before anyone woke up, after all. Wufei revved up his motorcycle, reminding Duo to put the helmet back on. Once the arms were encircled tightly around his waist, Wufei shifted out of the parking lot and sped off.

They went for a long motorcycle ride on the open freeway, which was sparse this time of night. It was about ten or eleven now (they'd spent far too long decorating that douchebag's office). Wufei glanced back every now and then, making sure Duo was still awake. Falling asleep on a motorcycle was dangerous. But Duo seemed happy, and wide awake, and was smiling underneath the helmet's lightly-tinted visor.

Wufei turned his focus back to the road. He knew Duo liked riding on his motorcycle with him. They didn't get to do it often, between Duo's ridiculous hours and Wufei's need for it for his own job. So times like these were nice.

The Chinese pilot stopped it at the top of a hill overlooking the city. Duo slipped his helmet off, and set it behind him on the bike. He leaned forward, pressing his cheek against his lover's back, gazing out. "Damn, it's pretty."

"It's Earth," Wufei replied, gazing out with a neutral expression, lips set into a line. "Of course it is."

Duo poked him in the side playfully. "The colonies aren't so bad." Wufei didn't reply. It caused Duo to look up, and he noticed the flicker in those coal eyes. He leaned up, putting his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder this time. "Hey..."

Wufei's eyes flicked to him, watching him. Duo just smiled.

Wufei knew. He always knew. The corners of his lips tugged upwards, and he closed his eyes briefly in thought. Then he looked back out. "Let's go home."

Duo grinned. "Yeah. I wanna sleep tonight so I can get up and see that asshole's face on the security cameras!"

Wufei bonked the braided male's head with his fist very lightly. "You better have fixed those correctly."

Duo gasped in mock surprise. "How can you doubt me, 'Fei? Oh, it hurts, like a deep stabbing wound, OH, the pain!" He clutched his chest, adding to the drama.

Wufei rolled his eyes, but he couldn't hide the smile tugging at his lips. "Put your damn helmet on, Duo."

"Yes, sir!" Duo saluted him with an extremely serious expression, then grinned and slipped it back on.

Wufei revved up his motorcycle and began the ride home, Duo clutched his waist with the cold helmet against the Chinese male's upper back. On the way back, the Asian pilot was thinking on what they'd set up. And he thought,_ 'What a start to our anniversary.' _

He found that he was smiling to himself and he sped up, the streetlights' rays ghosting over them as he cut through the night.

He kind of liked this start.


End file.
